fall

my favorite time of the year....

the colorful leaves....i love taking drives and soaking in all of the brilliant reds, oranges and browns....it is just breathtaking and i am always in awe at the beauty...

chilly nights....the kind where you sit outside with friends or loved ones and huddle together by a fire...or leave the windows cracked open and pile on the blankets in bed...create a cozy cocoon....

the bluest skies...when the summer haze clears out, the sky deepens and brightens to a limitless blue...i could get lost in a fall blue sky...

afternoon light....when the sun rides close to the horizon and the light slants in from the side, the trees blaze. i love that light, even though it means it will be night soon...

the smell of wood smoke...for some reason i find that smell very soothing....

hot apple cider...it's about the ONLY thing hot that i will drink....

halloween...that goes without saying as it is my favorite holiday of the entire year...i love absolutely everything about halloween....

sweats and hoodies and socks...the long fuzzy knee socks that are bright in color....fall clothes are so comfortable...and it's the perfect time for layers...no need for a coat quite yet...

pumpkin patches and hay rides....nothing like taking a hay ride through a pumpkin patch with your children...the giggles, the excitement the nip in the air...

breaking out the crockpot or the big soup pot and finding new recipes for hearty soups and stews....have them cook all day and the aromas in the house are just scrumptious....


i can't wait for fall...the cool breezes that make the fallen leaves dance....the cool temperatures...the pumpkin picking...the corn mazes...bon fires....the smells....oh i can't wait...can you?

happy monday all

x's & o's
~r~

gotta minute.....

someone asked me today if i had a minute....here is what ran through my head.....now take a deep deep D E E P breath....

try new shampoo. make avery's lunch. clip coupons from newspaper insert while fixing breakfast for the girls and myself. , get girls ready for the day to include priming and priming for 2 little divas (normally this includes changing their mind on their outfit that they picked out the night before. drop avery off at school (musn't' forget to roll the back windows down so adilyn can yell "love you sissy...be good at school". drive 20 minutes to the gym to get my a** handed to me in my spin class or p90 class (whichever day it happens to be) and then after my a** has been handed to me for an hour i get tortured for another hour with some weights and ab work. drive home and if no one is looking stop at mcdonalds for their $1 coke (hey i just worked out...it's allowed right??!?!?! fix lunch for adilyn and try to find something to stuff down my throat. rush off to the shower. do hair. throw on some make-up time permitting. take adilyn to school. rush home to answer the copious amounts of emails received in the last 24 hours. grab a handful of peanuts (those are allowed.....right!?!?!?!?) try to get as much sewing done as humanly possible...or maybe not so human....i do have a robot mode...don't you know??!?! drink 8 glasses of water. do some glute squeezes while sewing. meet avery at the half way point from school. go home and get the first stages of dinner together. have avery read me a story. go over homework, notes, or whatever other flyer's are in the every growing stack sent home each and every night. get packages ready for the post office. grab avery by the arm and throw her in the car. pick adilyn up from school. go to the post office. drive past the drive-thru. replace the toilet paper roll (why do i feel like i do this every other day?) remember nothing is as bad as it seems. explain to adilyn what "you are what you eat" means. get dinner ready. charge cell phone. feed the children. clean the kitchen. figure out what is for dinner tomorrow night so you can start the thawing process. stick $1 in avery's book bag for snow cone day. bathe the children. pick out our outfits for the next day to include any and all accessories. work as hard as i can. braid the girls hair. pick up the stray socks found in the hallway. RSVP for a party. stop and give the kids a big hug and kiss. check the weather. remember to drive slower and avoid quick starts to preserve the life of my car for the next few months. think about exercising more. shred mail. pay bills online. transfer money into savings. check the mailbox. iron the clothes. write a to-do list with the #1 thing being put the laundry away. clean the bathroom. read a few bedtime stories. put the kids to bed. remind yourself to eat out less. trade the coke in your hand for a water. do christina's ab workout during commercials of big brother. check emails again. sweep kitchen floor. laugh at a joke. step on the scale. pick yourself up off the floor after looking down while standing on the scale. get on the scale one more time to see if there was some type of malfunction. tell yourself to weigh in the morning as soon as you wake up for a more accurate weight. put library books in the library bag and set by the front door. look for healthy recipes. try to make a blog post. wait for hubby's phone call. read the glamour magazine from two months ago that is still in the plastic. answer hubby's call. tell him about your day. get off the phone and put it on the charger. check and respond to emails one last time. make sure water bottles are filled for the next torture session at the gym. jot down your grocery list on the back of the receipt sitting by the microwave. turn the lights off. turn the lights back on. start a to do list because calling the dentist keeps getting forgotten. turn the lights off. creep upstairs so to not wake the kiddos. crawl into bed. set the alarm for 5:30am to get the stuff done you weren't able to do today done before the kids wake up. read the latest james patterson novel until your eyes close while you are still holding the book. wake up and turn the light off. pass out......

sure i have a minute....what do you need?

the average day in the life of me.....happy thursday sweet sweet friends

x's & o's

~r~

10 Day Challenge - Day 9

day nine - 9 loves

1. my husband....oh how i adore that man....

we have not had a "perfect" marriage but who does....and people who say that they do are living in a fantasy world and i always wonder how "happy" are you really...putting on a facade...pretending that things are perfect 100% of the time..

the one thing that has been constant for our almost ten years of marriage is love...no matter how much i give him the silent treatment...no matter how much he tries to ignore me...no matter how much i nag him...no matter how much he tries to sweep things under the rug...we know that we love each other....

the one thing that we have promised each other is to ALWAYS say "i love you" when leaving the house or getting off the phone...even if we are mad and to never say things in the "heat of the moment"....

it is so much easier to spout off at the mouth than to hold your tongue and think to yourself what you are getting ready to say and how it is going to make the other person feel....

i love that man of mine...he is a good man....a dedicated man....a strong man....a loving man....an honorable man....and he is mine...i'm a lucky girl!!

2. my children....even on the days that i want to lock myself in the closet....

even on the days where i can't wait until they go to bed so i can have a few moments to reflect...

even on the days where all it seems they do is fight with each other or challenge me....

even on the days where it seems that nothing any of us can do is right....

especially on the days where i hear them laugh and see them smile...

especially on the days where they play together for hours with not a mean word spoken....

especially on the days where everything goes right....

especially on the days when i really need a hug or a kiss and they are always there to give it to me....

i love those girls of mine...i am more than blessed to have them in my life and to be able to call them mine

3. my parents.....they have been in my life since the beginning...they have...

supported me....

encouraged me...

loved me unconditionally....

been there to help me pick up the pieces...one more than one occasion....

parented me....even when that meant not letting me go out with my friends...

gave me a solid family structure and always made me feel safe and secure....

pushed me and made me do things because they were "good for me"

4. my sister....even though we have not always seen eye to eye on everything i know that in my heart of hearts she will be there for me when i need her....

she has shown me compassion and love....

she has shown me what not to do to stay out of trouble....

she has shown me that you don't have to fit the "mold"...be who you are no matter what anyone else thinks....

5. my brother....even when he makes it hard to love him you just can't help but to....

my kid brother....

my partner in crime....

the one i never thought was an intrusion on the countless number of times he came to hang out with me and my friends when i was in high school....

the one man i know that has a heart of gold....

the one i can count on to get up at 2am on black friday and go shopping with me two years in a row....(if that isn't love i have no idea what is!!!!)

6. ice cold coke....the one thing that i will never give up no matter how health conscious i become...i can't....i won't...end of story!!!

7. sewing...i love being able to make something...to think outside the box....to mix and match and come up with something that no one else will be wearing....i love that my girls love that i sew for them!!!!

8. dating my husband......since colby has joined the army we have had the opportunity to leave the girls with my parents and go away for a few nights....we get to act like newlyweds again....spend time together where we can let loose and feel free....it's so important to our marriage to be able to do that and i am so very thankful to have wonderful parents that are outstanding grandparents that are willing to do that for us....thank you mom and dad

9. quiet time....i need it....i thrive when i have it....i'm a better mommy when i get it....if i don't get it i crave it and i can get quite irritable....i need to have some adult interaction throughout the day but more than that it is essential that i get my quiet time....

that's it...those are the things i love...the things i couldn't live without

oh my...look at this pic i found....

avery looks so young....and i figured it out....i figured out what makes her look so young...

she still has all of her baby teeth....once they loose those baby teeth they start looking like big kids....

she lost her first tooth when she was barely 5....and then they all fell out so quickly after that....

she is just growing up way too fast

x's & o's
~r~

10 Day Challenge - Day 8

day 8 - eight fears

i've always been one that prided myself in not being scared of too many things....

i could watch scary movies and go home alone and wouldn't think twice about it...not so much anymore...since hubby is gone i will not watch scary movies....we watched one while he was home for r&r and that was a mistake...i had trouble sleeping for almost a month after he went back to afghanistan....

i wasn't scared of walking in dark parking lots alone...i am now...it really kind of freaks me out...

i wasn't scared of much of anything.....

i don't believe that i felt as though i was invincible...i was just able to block it out...not think about it....

i think since becoming a mother i have stared to experience a bit of fear....nothing debilitating but as stated above...i can't even watch scary movies alone anymore...i need my big strong hubby here to protect me from the ghouls and goons *wink wink*

so my fears...the things in life that really kind of alarm me are:

1. first and foremost my biggest fear right now is that my husband will not come home.....for an entire year i will live in a constant state of fear that my husband will not come back....i think this is the scariest thing that i have ever had to live through...and this is the second time....

2. something happening to my children that i have no control over....it doesn't have to be something as horrible as death...but i fear that something bad will happen to my children that i can not protect them from....that really scares me....i really struggled with this when i sent avery to kindergarten and she was not with me 24/7...i no longer had that control and it was one of the hardest thing i had to do...give up that control

3. making the wrong decision when it comes to important issues concerning my family or our well being and having to live with the consequences....it's not just me anymore...i have a husband and children who depend on me....

4. dying young....i want to watch my children grown and become adults...i want to be a physical part of that...i know that if something were to happen to me they would be well taken care of but it breaks my heart thinking that if something happens to me i won't be there for their soccer games....their spelling bees...their school plays....their first dance....their prom...their graduation...going off to college...getting engaged...getting married...having their own children... i.don't.want.to.miss.one.moment.of.it

5. not being able to get pregnant again....not sure where this comes from as we have never had an issue getting pregnant but we both really want another child and it sometimes scares me to think that we will not be able to have another child....

6. failing....i have a fear...could possibly even be a little unnatural....of failing...doesn't matter what it is...sewing...cooking...tests...working out...not meeting peoples expectations of me...i have always had an issue with failing at anything that i did...i'm the one who got a b on their final exam which lowered their class grade to an a- and i beat myself up for it for months....me+failing= no bueno!!!!!

7. public speaking.....i haven't had to do it since i was working outside the home but oh how i despised it....despised it to the point that for weeks before my speaking engagement i would be physically sick....oh how i'm glad i work from home now...if you could have seen me in both my bachelors and my masters programs trying to do my speeches....ugh...i don't even want to think about it....

8. not being excepted....i have always been somewhat of a social dork...social settings and me do not go together at all....i do ok when i'm one on one with someone but put me in a group and i try to blend in with the wall...or the floor...or the big plant in the corner....i am not out going....i have a hard time being a conversationalist with people i do not know....and with this i have found that because of my shy nature there have been many times i am not excepted because people mistake my bashfulness for being snobby or stuck up...and that is so far from the truth....

so...those are my fears...i kind of rambled and if you are still reading thanks for sticking in there...i also wanted to share some pictures...oh how i love pictures....i need to get better about taking more...i WILL get better about taking more pictures..

so far...this picture below...it is my all time favorite picture of her...it just captures her to a 't'...nothing fancy or foofy about it...but this look on her face is just priceless (and believe me..she is full of these priceless looks)..but that is just what she is...priceless!!!!

happy hump day dear friends!!!

x's & o's

r

10 Day Challenge - Day 6

day 6 - six places

if you would have asked me 5 years ago "six places" i probably would have named off some exotic far away lands that had the perfect temperatures and the perfect hotels and the perfect fruity concoctions that involve "adult" beverages....

today...you ask me and the only place that i want to be more than anywhere at this very moment is...

in his arms....i want to hold him...be held by him...hug him...kiss him...touch him...be able to smell him when he has just finished a shower...be able to pick up the phone and call him...cuddle on the couch with him...snuggling with him...

simply put...i want to be with him...

i miss him so very much and being apart from your best friend...your soul mate...your true love really puts things into perspective...

you can keep your beaches...your far off getaways..your foo foo drinks...i just want to be with my husband.....if i were allowed....i would follow him to the ends of the earth...

and since i can't be in his arms for another four and a half months give or take....

place number two is wherever these little girls are...

they each hold a very special piece of my heart....

sure there are days where i must retreat to my closet and hide while i take a few (ok, sometimes LOTS) of deep breaths...but i love each of these little ladies with all that i am...they truly complete me as a person....

place number three would be with my parents....

i miss them....they are so supportive and giving and loving and caring parents a girl could ask for....

things have not always been perfect.....

sure i gave them a run for their money when i was younger.....testing the limits and the boundaries...giving grey hairs and maybe even a few panic attacks...

but now, now that i am an adult and have children and i look back...i am so grateful that my parents raised me and cared for me the way that they did...for that i am forever grateful and thankful....

i hope that i can give my children the kind of foundation my parents gave me...

place number four.....

a cool fall day spent at the park with my girls.....

seeing things through their eyes....experiencing things i have experienced a million times but when i'm with them it feels like it's the first time....

feeling the warm sun kiss my skin even though there is a nip in the air.....

running through the leaves...rolling down the hill.....swinging on swings...going down the slide...racing up the hill....

i am looking forward to the quickly approaching fall weather....oh the adventures that we are going to have....

place number five.....disney!!!!!

we were fortunate enough to take the girls and my parents last summer for a family vacation...and we are looking forward to going back when this damn deployment is over....

advice....if you are sensitive to the heat and sun like i am...DO NOT go in may...or anytime other than the winter months....

GASP...it was SO SO SO hot....but still a good time to be had by all.....

i am delighted that we will be able to take the kids and parents again this february...

place number six......maryland

in addition to our trip to disney last summer we also went to maryland over the 4th of july weekend to visit family....

the girls had a wonderful time as did we.....

i grew up spending many vacations on the east coast...i have found memories of my aunts and uncles and cousins....

fond memories of going to the beach....exploring the history of my family....visiting places where my dad grew up....going crabbing...and so much more...

i hope that we will be able to continue to travel to maryland and give our girls the same experiences i had that i remember so adoringly

so there you have it...my six places....

nothing fancy....nothing over the top exciting....nothing lavish....

just simple places where i am with my family...with the people that mean the most to me....

happy monday friends

x's and o's
~r~

Lucky?

if you would have asked me ten years ago where i would be today….

i would have N E V E R in my life dreamed i would be where i am at this very moment in time

ten years ago on this very day at about this very time I was sitting at a bar

drinking too many green beers…flirting with too many (what I thought at the time was cute) boys…having absolutely no cares in the world….

ten years ago….if you would have asked me if i wanted to get married and settle down i would have rolled on the floor laughing until I either peed my pants or barfed green beer all over your shoes….it is St Pats day after all and what else is there to do but drink?!?!?!….

at this point in time, marriage was not in my cards….or so I thought

ten years ago if you would have asked me if i wanted kids i would have rolled my eyes (which i am very, very VERY good at by the way) and told you that there was NO WAY I would EVER give up my firm, tight, SKINNY body or my freedom for kids….

fast forward…..it’s ten years later…..it’s St Patricks Day…i am not sitting at a bar…i am not drinking, dancing, or flirting with anyone….

i am married to a wonderful man…a man i was reconnected with a short time after St Patricks Day ten years ago…a man that would and has moved mountains for me…a love that is so pure and so strong we have been able to weather the roughest of storms….a love that feels new to me every day i wake up...after 10 years it still has not gotten old....

we have 2 beaitful daughters that i would not only give up my young, tight, rock hard body for but i would give my life for….

these girls are what gets me through the hardest of days….

these girls are what makes my world go round….

they can make me laugh, cry and get furious all in a matter of minuets….

they are the soul of me….my family is what makes me whole….complete

sometimes…just for a second…for a brief minute I think and I catch a glimps of the old me…the one sitting at the bar…and I have this tiny itsy bitsy urge to join her….just for a second…just for a moment in time…and it’s normally when I am having a particulary hard day…. the days where nothing goes right and you just want to lock yourself in your closet and hide from everyone...

But that thought passes through me so quickly….I see my babies faces…their smiles…hear their voice….step on their Pet Shop or one of their 92,845,023,808,0978,398 pairs of Barbie shoes and I know that I am lucky….not just on this day but on EVERY day….

Happy St Patricks Day Dear Readers!!!

~R~

i thought i would leave you with a few pictures of the girls today in their Green outifts....i had to include the 4th picture because i laugh until i snort everytime i look at Adilyn's face...what in the world!?!?!?!? that girl has me in stitches ALL THE TIME!!!!

And So We Go On.....

Well.....it was bound to happen....I guess you could say we are overdue for our meltdowns....

The last few days we have been grumpy, grumpy, grumpy....mommy is included in that"we"...

Avery and Adilyn have not been getting along very well....and that might even be a bit of an understatement!

I beleive that they are having a hard time expressing their feelings about missing their daddy and the changes that they are going through right now.....

So instead of their usual friendly banter back and forth they have resorted to really annoying the crap ouf of eachother and mommy to the point of tears....

My poor babies....

So what does that mean?

It means lots of hugs and caring words and consoling from mama

Even though mama is frustrated and feels that she gets defeated so easily...

but she is getting better about using her tranquil voice with the girls even though she is screaming at the top of her lungs on the inside....I am also working on my acting skills (heeeee)

But we are getting there and it will get better and we will learn that even though we miss daddy so very very VERY much we will be peachy keen.....we are the Murray's after all and this is what we do best!

with that I am off to enjoy the peacefulness of the house with two precious girls asleep in their beds

I hope that you have had a dazzling day

I'll leave you with the winner of the give away (Congrats to Susan Brighthousen...shoot me an email to discuss your winnings!!!!)

as well as a few pictures from when were saying our last byes to daddy.....

Introductions...

I am finally at a place where I not only CAN but I NEED to start my blog and what better way to start off than with a few introductions as to who we are!


She...

• Avery Lillian Murray....and juts turned 6 this past October
• my first born and was the easiest and most complacent baby I could have asked for
• she has a heart of gold and shares it with everyone that she comes in contact with....
• she is beautiful both inside and out and even though she has an awkward and toothless smile it is one that shines on the darkest of days
• she is the girliest girl that you will have the pleasure of meeting and INSISTS she wears skirts at least 6 out of the 7 days of the week
• she started kindergarten this year and is loving most every minute of it...with the exception of the first few weeks where she had her ice pack from her lunch box on her head when I picked her up because the "kids are just too noisy"
• she calls her little sister her best friend and loves her more than anything in the world
• she is a charming little girl but a bit on the bossy side...one day she will be a GREAT leader
• she has a thirst for knowledge that just can't be quenched
• she read her first book with NO help two days ago
• she is radiant in every way and her beauty shines in everything she does
• is her father's daughter....it astonishes me how much they are alike in every way

She ...

• Adilyn Grace Murray....just turned 3 this past November
• can melt your heart in one look and turn you to stone with the next look...watch out Medusa....this one's got you beat!
• wants to do EVERYTHING her sister does and gets SO temperamental when she just can't get it
• says her sister is "her best friend in the whooooooole world".....makes my heart smile
• just started pre-school....she goes 2 days a week and even though there were some tears and a little separation anxiety when I dropped her off I know she is going to be just fine (and mama is LOVING the 3 hours on Tuesday's and Thursday's of blissful silence.
• is painfully shy just as her mother was and in all honesty still is
• is following in her sister's footsteps of being a true girly girl
• her favorite thing to do right now....play dress up and be a "pretty pretty princess"
• is truly and 100% beautiful.....with doll-like features and BIG beautiful eyes
• is her mother's daughter...it's amazing how much she is like me
  

He.....

• Colby Daniel Murray....just turned 34 this past October
• is the one and only man that I have every loved with everything that I am
• is strong and caring and kind and has a soft spot for his daughters (and me too as I think that he really finds it hard to ever tell me no....sometimes I wish he would as I sometimes have issues with impulse control...tee hee hee!!!)
• is living his dream....how many people can honestly say that they are doing what they always dreamed of doing....so after 5 long years of trying to enlist in the Army he is doing it...he made it
• is so secure with who he is he has no qualms about putting on a tutu and a tiara and playing dress up with his daughters....or watching a "girly movie" with his wife...not that I am really into girly movies but every now and then there is one I want to watch
• laughs so fully and deeply and hearty that it just touches your soul
• is the one person that can make me laugh to the point of my abs hurting tears streaming down my face
• is my hero
  

I am...

• Rebecca Louise Murray...just turned 32 this past November
• am wife to a wonderful husband and mother to two beautiful and kind spirited daughters and owner of Hot Tots Boutique
• is finally feeling comfortable in her skin with who she REALLY is....
• has taken a vow to herself to take batter care of herself inside and out.....
• is awkwardly shy and often too quiet....as I get a bit older, and maybe a bit wiser about life in general finding herself to being not AS shy and not AS quiet
• does everything with passion and dedication...gives 100%, 100% of the time....if she does not feel like she can fully commit she will not commit at all
• gets her feelings her too easily....tried working on some thicker skin but decided that this is part of her make-up so the thicker skin has been thrown by the wayside and she will continue to be a bit TOO sensitive...it's part of what makes her her!
• loves to watch her children grow and develop and doesn't want to miss a moment of it...part of the reason why her $80,000 education is put up on a shelf and not one ounce of guilt is in her heart or her head....she knows her children are more important than anything in life
• is proud of herself and continues to be proud....it took her a long time to get here but she is happy with who she is
  

We are.....

• The Murray's
• know that the most important thing in life is family and we cherish it
• know that things aren't ALWAYS perfect...sure there are some hurt feelings, some doors shut a little too loudly on occasion, a little hair pulling every now and then (not Colby and I...I promise), a tear every now and then, and not always in agreement
• but also know that we NEVER go to mad, always say I love you when leaving to go somewhere or getting off of the phone....ALWAYS, practice patience with each other, and never say hateful things to each other
• strong....not as individuals so much but as a unit we will stand the test of time
• have a love that is so deep and so pure and so true for one another that even when there is a little hair pulling or a few hurt feelings or a tear shed here or there we know that in the end...when the dust settles we have pure unadulterated love

So there it is....

There we are....

This blog will be dedicated to documenting our journey through life together and as individuals as well as an outlet for my creative side.....

If you took the time to read this I am sorry for getting sappy in a place or two...I often do that as well, I'm a sap at heart...it's my little secret though so don't tell anyone.... :)

Happy Hump Day Everyone...and Welcome to A Journey Through Life

XOXOXO