she titillates me

she has since birth....i believe she always will....

with her big heart, few words, beautiful eyes, caring soul.

she tickles me with the things she says.

right now she calls licking "icking", vitamins "mightymens", coke "coke-coke", tea "tea-tea", avery "avwey", oh i could go on...i could listen to my sweet girl for hours. the way she says things just slays me.

she is adamant, stubborn, easily heart-broken, sensitive, a girl of few words, a tad bit bossy, painfully shy.

she wears her heart on her sleeve and is not afraid to show you her emotions.

it takes her time to warm up to you but when she does, her heart she gives you forever.

she gives the biggest and best hugs that have turned my mood around on more than one occasion.

she is a snuggler and a cuddler...her favorite spot right now is curled up in a ball on my lap...and to be honest....i do not mind one bit.

she is doing well in school. loves her teacher. could do without the "noisy kids" (her words, not mine). is recognizing the majority of the alphabet and her numbers. loves spending time at part day pre-school and learning lots. she is smart this one, maybe too smart for her own good.

she is starting to toy with the idea of challenging me, showing a bit of her sassy side...i got her number on speed dial though.

this one. she thinks she's tough, hard core and all that. but the moment that she gets scared, hurt or just feels bad she comes running to me, her safe place to fall.

she is so particular in everything that she does. everything!

she is my little mimic. she "sews" when i sew, "talks on the phone" when i'm on the phone, does her "business" on the computer when i am dealing with my business on the computer. everything i do she does, she flatters me, she really does.

she takes "big baby" with her everywhere we go. more times than not "big baby" has to stay in the car as i am a little embarrassed by how she looks. (the girls decided they needed to pull out her eyelashes over one eye and write all over her with pen and try as i might i can't get it off).

she loves pretending. dancing. singing. and dress-up. (as long as she can do it undetected....this one will never yearn to be in the spotlight, she's more of a behind the scenes type of girl!)

she is trying to be more independent everyday, i'm not sure how i fell about that or if i am ready for that.

she is a delight.

she is my heart.

this kid and i....we have a special bond.

and i really, honestly don't' understand how there was life...real heart-breaking, gut wrenching, scared out of your wits, the feeling of responsibility and being held accountable, laugh until you pee your pants, gut wrenching life....before my girls came along .

*i want to thank the amazing Audrey Coley...she is an amazing photographer (she did all of the pictures above as well as so many more of the girls i have and is collaborating on a new project with me)...an amazing friend....inspirational....feeds my creative side...you are wonderful dear friend. Thank you so much for being in my life*

have a wonderful thursday dear friends

x's & o's
~r~

proud

that is what i am.....

so very proud that i have the privilege to call her my daughter...

today was her very first spelling test......E V E R....

we studied....boy did we study.....every morning at breakfast she pulled out a piece of paper and i would call out the words from the kitchen as i was making her lunch for school....and then again every afternoon when she got home from school we would do it again....

i didn't have to push or badger her to study...she took the initiative......so i took her cue and we studied....wrote the words carefully...spelled them together....found them in books we were reading...and all the while i would just sit back and look at her in amazement...when did my baby grow up....when did she become such a little lady????

i wanted her to do well because she wanted to do well...not because i want her to be perfect....not because i am going to be "one of those moms"

and it paid off....

she came running down the hill with a peice of paper in her hand shouting "guess what mommy, guess what?" over and over all the while trying to hide her excitement so i could guess while she was so excited.....

i played along with a sly smile on my face....gave a few guesses....

"did you get picked to read allowed?"

"did you get your favorite snack in your lunch?"

"did you get to be the paper passer outter?'"

"no mommy" she replied..... "i did it mommy....i did it!!!!"

and that is what she did...she did it....she spelled all of her words correctly....to include the 3 bonus words.....

i gathered her in my arms and gave her a huge hug and told her that i was over the moon proud of her and that her daddy was going to be just as proud when i tell him....

we celebrated with sharing a root beer and a few cookies and then off we went to pick up adilyn from part day pre-school....

my hope for her is that she continues to have such a passion for learning and a thirst for knowledge....that she finds things that interests her and peaks her interests...which right now happen to be all things science and art....

i do not have the expectation for my children to be perfect....i want them to do their best even if their best is not perfect....no one is perfect and before avery hopped out of the car this morning as i was dropping her off i told her even if she doesn't get them all right as long as she does her very best i will be proud of her....

that child of mine does not need any added pressure from mamma......she puts plenty of pressure on herself to excel...that is just who she is...guess she did pick up a few traits from her good ol' mamma!!!

happy friday friends

x's & o's
~r~

no sister's allowed

a little background.....about a year ago avery made a "no sister's allowed" sign to hang on her door.....

we had a little talk...maybe a bit of a lecture...about how that would make her feel

how it would hurt her feelings if someone hung a sign on their door that said that she couldn't enter.....

it was decided at that time that the note would not adorn her door...and we would put it away with all of her other art work....

mind you...this was when avery was 5 and adilyn was 2

so the note was put away and was not thought about again....at least i had forgotten about it...seemingly i was the only one who forgot about it!!!!

from the pictures below you will deduct that avery's long lost note is not longer tucked safely away...

i go upstairs after getting home from the gym to find this:

the first picture is avery's door.....

second picture is adilyn's door.....

*please excuse the not so great pictures...the lighting is not all that desirable up there*

curious to see what the "signs" say???

this is avery's note.....

written over a year ago....

in brief...it says "no adilyn" at the top and underneath it says....."yes it does...this means you" not real sure about the word order in the sentence but you get the point....

no sister's allowed!!!!

avery decided she was going to hang that on her door this morning while i was making sure the lunch box was in her book bag, my water bottle and towel were in my gym bag and i had my purse and keys and everything else i needed....so it's safe to say that i was not paying 100% attention to exactly what she was doing....

in retaliation and with a few...ok A LOT of hurt feelings adilyn decided she was going to hang her "no sister's" allowed sign...

it looked like this:

what is that you ask?

it is a big monster....please note that there are two different "people" in this picture...

and inside the belly of the big monster is avery....

adilyn explained with a look of innocence on her face and sweetness in her voice that avery tried to go into her room so the monster ate her....

so as i sit here and the girls are in bed with their "no sister's" allowed signs hanging on their doors i giggle to myself....

i know that they are not going to get along with each other all of the time....

i know that there are going to be bruised feelings....

shouting matches.....

"borrowed" clothes......

"lost" make-up or nail polish or whatever coveted item one or the other has...

arguments over who's turn it is....

tears and contention between the two....

but there is also going to be hugs and hand holding....

giggling and laughing together only like little girls can do...

playing and creating and imagining taking trips together to far off lands that only the two of them will journey to....

sharing secrets that will be kept to the death...or until they are old enough they will not get in trouble from mom or dad.....

as much as these girls pick and prod and antagonize each other they have a bond that is strong and builds more and more as each day passes....

i look forward to watching them grow and develop as individuals.....but it is just as exciting to watch them grow as sisters....

a sister is a forever friend and as the girls get older i hope that they find that a sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.....

happy hump day dear friends....

x's & o's
~r~

10 Day Challenge - Day Seven

day seven - wants

it goes without saying that right now there is nothing that i WAN T more than for my husband to be home with us...for our family to be whole again...for our hearts to be whole....that is my most immense want right now.....

want number two.....i WANT to continue to be the best mother that i can be....there are days where i fear that i am not doing right by my children...that i am failing them...that i am not doing everything right....so i WANT to be a good mother, the best mother that i can be....

want number three.....i WANT to go away with my hubby for a few nights all by ourselves...like we did when he came home for r&r...it was magical and wonderful and glorious and we just had the best time imaginable....

want number four....i WANT to go on a family vacation when this deployment is over...to include mom and dad....we love taking adventures as a family and i can't wait to go on our next one...

want number five....i WANT to learn patience and to practice it at all times...to include when i'm stressing a bit.....i have found that when colby is home i yell less, i have more patience, i am more understanding, i have more focus, i have more of so much more...i WANT to be able to do that at ALL times...not just when he is at home....i owe it to my children....

want number six.....i WANT a new car...we've had the good ol' murano for 8 years now...it's been paid off for over 3 years...we are ready for a new car with more space....excited for when colby gets home to go car shopping...we are pretty sure we will be getting a suburban...

want number seven....i WANT to continue to work on me...inside and out....to continue to learn that all parts of me...the good and the bad...are who i am and i need to be happy with that...

on another note....this baby girl pictured below...me dear sweet avery....

well.....................

i got a note from her teacher today.....

she has been chosen to be evaluated for the gifted program....

i couldn't be more proud of her than i am right now....

she is so smart and beautiful and so eager to learn...i am so happy that her wonderful teachers picked up on that and decided to have her tested/evaluated...

way to go baby girl...you make me so proud....keep shining sweet girl...the sky is the limit....

happy tuesday sweet readers

x's & o's
~r~

day 4 - four books

i am an avid reader....i read daily for at least 30 minutes...

reading is me time...the one time during the day that i am doing something for me and me alone..
before our journey began with the military i was the proud owner of hundreds of books...all of which i read cover to cover...

since our stint with the government began i have had to find new homes for all of my gazillions of books...books are heavy which means we go WAY over our weight allowance which equals an unhappy hubby...

for now the girls and i make weekly trips to the library and borrowing as opposed to buying....that equals a happy hubby when it comes time to PCS...

i absolutely adore reading and am so overjoyed that my girls love to read as much as i do...

i have read to both of my girls since nightly since the day they were brought home from the hospital...

reading offers so many benefits.....improved memory....improved writing skills...increased analytical thinking....increased vocabulary...improved creativity and imagination...all of this was so important to me to instill in my children....

avery is doing a fantastic job reading and adilyn is reaping the rewards....

at night i can sit on the couch and hear adilyn hop into her sisters bed and for about thirty minutes i can hear avery reading to adilyn....it melts my heart...

of course it does mean sometimes that mornings are a little bit of a crank fest...but the cranks are soon forgotten as we get ready for the day...

so...my 4 favorite books you ask.....here they are:

love you forever - robert munsch (this book melts my heart and brings a tear to my eye every time the girls and i read it)

white oleander - janet fitch (love this book...just love it...so real and raw)

she's come undone - willy lamb (this one affected me to the core....it made me laugh and wince with recognition)

the help - kathryn stockett (this book went past phenomenal for me!!)

so those are my four favorites right now...

the funniest thing about this list is the fact that my favorite type of read is suspense/thriller and none of my fav genre made the list....the oddities of life...never will cease to amaze me!!!

i also wanted to share some summer fun pictures of the girls....love the hula hoop picture...

happy saturday readers!!!!!

xoxoxoxoxo ~r~

Just Like That.....

Just like that the summer ended....and off you went to the first grade....wondering if you really looked like a first grader or still a kindergartener"

It's so hard to believe that my baby girl is getting so big, so grown up

It's happening WAY too fast....I closed my eyes to blink and you were no longer a baby...

i wanted to make your first day of first grade special so I woke up extra special early...

i wanted to make sure that you went to school with a full tummy and an overflowing heart...

i made you scrambled eggs with cheese and ham (your favorite right now by the way) with toast sprinkled with a little cinammon and suger and a whole lot of love....

we talked about what you were excited about, what you were scared of, and how you thought your day might go....

you also told me that you were the luckiest girl in the world because your mommy made the best clothes and no one had anything like what you had abd that you "loved times a bazillion the new dress you made for my first day of school" (be still my heart...you my lady have no idea how good that made me feel)

so off we went...you full of excitement and beaming from ear to ear excited of what the day would hold for you.....me holding back the tears knowing that once again I was handing you over to the wonderful teachers that are blessed to have you in their classes...

once we got to school i looked in the rear-view mirror and could tell that there was the slightest bit of apprehension...nervousness...a little bit unsure of yourself...

but it quickly passed and you were ready to charge off into the school leaving me in your dust....no way sista'...I'm not letting you get away that quickly!!!

and just like that....just like that another year is passing....

you are growing taller....brighter....more beautiful....more loving...more compassionate...

just like that i walked you into your class....

gave you a hug and a kiss....

told you how much i loved you and how much i was going to miss you today...

and just like that i left you there....i turned and watched you for a few moments from the doorway...

you were smiling...chatting with your friends...exploring your new classroom...i looked at you and knew that you were going to love first grade

as i walked down the hallway hand in hand with Adilyn i thought about all of the times that i was going to let you go....to have to walk away from you or watch you walk away from me...

i'll watch you go to your first dance....

i'll watch you go on your first date (and Lord help me worry each and every second you are gone)...

i'll watch you drive away in the car for the first time praying that you will remember each and every single rule of the road and of the car....

i'll watch you go off to college...

i'll watch you as you marry the man you love....

i know that you are going to do things that I do not agree with...i know that you will make decisions that i don't care for...

i know we are not going to get along faultlessly over the years....i know we will want to pull our hair out in frustration over the years....

but i know one thing....i will always and forever be proud of her...as proud of her as humanly possible...through the bad decisions and the good...the ups and the downs...i will be proud of her more than she will ever know...she is my heart...

Happy Monday Readers!

~R~